Slipping out the back door, the sisters slowly meandered across the yard toward the barn. Weatherworn fences surrounded five corrals where the horses grazed during the day. A long, wide, dirt path ran between the corrals, which led to a large, traditional red barn with white trim framing the doors and the windows. A rooster-shaped weathercock perched on the roof, swinging gently back and forth in the summer breeze.
Sophia walked ahead of her sister, kicking at the occasional weed that had managed to grow despite the constant trampling of feet and hooves. Emma squinted up at the clear blue sky, the sun just peeking over the horizon. She glanced back at their white, two-story farmhouse. A big front porch wrapped around the outside and a hanging wooden bench swung in one corner. Several cushioned wicker chairs were clustered on one side and a few potted plants framed the porch steps. Lost in thought, Emma followed her sister through the heavy sliding door at the front of the barn and nearly ran into her when Sophia suddenly stopped short.
While the girls couldn’t see anyone when they first walked in, they distinctly heard a voice coming from one of the end stalls, faint, distant, and hard to make out. Slowly, carefully, the two girls tiptoed down toward the section of the barn where the voice was coming from. Emma paused by the stall of a tall, dark chocolate mare and jumped slightly when the voice came from inside. The sisters peeked over the top of the stall door and both their eyes widened as they realized it was their dad who was sitting on a pile of fresh hay, with his hat lying at his feet. His curly hair had bits of straw sticking out at awkward angles.
“I feel like such a failure, Lord,” he choked out. “I thought this was what you wanted me to do with my life. I know that You have everything under control and that you have my life already planned out, but right now You feel so far away.”
Sophia glanced at her sister, a quizzical look in her eye. Emma gave her a warning look and the sisters pressed closer to the stall door to hear better.
Emma peeked over the door and saw a piece of paper lying next to his feet. She could just make out the words “to sell” and “prices” written at the top. Biting her lip and trying not to panic, she grabbed her sister’s arm and pulled her out of the barn.
“What?”
Emma shook her head warningly and didn’t stop walking until Sophia dug her heels into the dirt outside.
“Ouch! Let go! What’s up with you? I thought we were going to feed the horses.”
Glancing back at the barn, an uneasy feeling crept into Emma’s stomach. She motioned for Sophia to lean in closer, so they wouldn’t be overheard and said, “Dad’s in there.”
“So?” Sophia glared at her sister. Emma looked at her, uncertain how much she should tell her about what she had seen.
Just then the girls heard their mom calling from the back door, “Emma! Sophia! Come here when you get a minute!”
“Coming!” They called in unison. Emma breathed a sigh of relief and they headed toward the back door. Just before they got there, Sophia nudged her sister’s arm.
“Hey, did Mom’s voice sound funny to you?”
Emma looked down at her sister, “What do you mean?”
Sophia shrugged, “I dunno. She just didn’t sound like Mom, you know?”
“I guess…” Entering the kitchen and closing the door behind them, the girls scanned the room. “Mom?” Emma called out.
“In here,” came her voice from another part of the house.
They followed their mom’s voice into the living room. She was sitting at the computer with a bankbook open in her hand. She set it down on the desk and leaned back in the chair, gently massaging her forehead.
Emma’s stomach tightened a little when she saw her mom’s face. She was always smiling and didn’t seem to worry about anything, but today she looked worn out and stressed.
“Sit down, girls.”
Sophia glanced at her sister with an I-told-you-so look and plopped down in the big chair. Emma bit her lip again and sat down on the couch, curling her legs under her, folding and unfolding her hands in her lap.
Half an hour later, Sophia had stormed up to her room, ranting about how life wasn’t fair, while Emma still sat on the couch, where her mom had joined her. Leaning her head on her mom’s shoulder, Emma asked, “So, how many of the horses is Dad planning to sell?”
“We’re not sure yet. He was going to make a list of the horses that we have and figure out which ones will help us keep the farm without having to lose them all. But we’ll most likely have to try and sell over half of them.”
Emma’s mind drifted back to the sheet of paper she had seen lying at her dad’s feet in the barn that morning. “How long have dad and you known we were possibly gonna lose the farm?”
“Since last week.” Her mom sighed and looked down at Emma. “Now, I know how Sophia feels about all this, but you were awfully quiet while I was talking. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
Emma lifted her head and shrugged. “I guess not. I’d better get started on my chores.” She stood up and headed toward the kitchen. Running her hands through her hair, she shoved her baseball cap onto her head and headed out the door, shutting it behind her. She walked out to the first corral and leaned on the fence, staring up at the fluffy, cotton ball clouds that filled the sky. She weaved her cross necklace in and around her fingers.
“Father God, help me. Why is this happening to our family? Why us?! I know it’s not Mom or Dad’s fault that we can’t afford to keep all of our horses and I don’t want to lose hope, but…” She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. A gentle breeze blew through the field and lifted her hair gently off her shoulders, caressing her flushed cheeks. All of a sudden, she remembered a verse that she had memorized back in Sunday school when she was a little girl:
She opened her watery eyes and smiled up at the sky, “I know. You’re in charge. Not me. Not Mom. Not Dad. I get it.” She sighed. “Help us to be strong. We can’t do this alone.”
(To be continued…)
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